Seriously? Am I cursed like Cinderella?
Posted September 19, 2013on:
Remember when I quoted someone (I think Zach) from Ballet West saying their production of “Cinderella” was cursed? Well, I’m feeling quite like the future princess right now…only I’m definitely on the rags side of the rags to riches story. First, I have felt like…well, there’s not even a word for it. My jaw has ached like someone did bourrée’s all over my face since last Thursday. And now, it’s kind of numb, plus my head hurts and I can’t chew. I should be losing weight, but so far, I haven’t. Perhaps it’s the Frappés I’m drinking to feel better and ease the pain. Second, my life is so full of my kid’s activities, that I feel like I’m meeting myself coming and going, with no time to get anything done and no time to kick back and relax. Kudos to my Twitter friend, Mandy Kawa for making the time to regroup this past weekend. You’re my hero! Thirdly, I have a stressful job. My “real” job. Today I held a woman’s hand while she died. Being a hospice social worker is not easy.
So why do I think I’ve ticked off the Karma Gods? Well, I can go weeks (and months) with nothing to do on the weekends other than church. And if by some small miracle I do have something, it’s generally something for my kids…rehearsal or taking them to some fun activity they are doing. The last time we did anything family oriented for fun…it was wrapped around picking Veronica up from her Atlanta Ballet Summer Intensive. Oh yeah, and I got to go to Nashville…for her photo shoot. This past weekend we had a family wedding. Yes, these are all enjoyable things, but not necessarily relaxing. And I’m sorry, but not exactly what I would choose if I was picking something for myself…well, that’s not really true, because I would always pick doing something for my children over me. Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? But I’m sure you catch my drift.
I digress. So today, feeling a bit overwhelmed, emotional, and stressed, as well as having the swollen jaw…I was perusing Facebook…hey, it was a few minute break after I sat with my patient…I needed a moment before going to my next patient’s home. Guess what I saw? The most exciting news…possibly ever! Allison DeBona’s Breaking Pointe Facebook page showed that they were taking their act on the road. TO. THE. WINDY. CITY!!!!! While I live in the other Illinois, Chicago is so much closer than Salt Lake City, Utah. Okay, the dates are October 4-6…yep, I know I have nothing to do (see back to the prior paragraph…I never have anything to do). So, I was planning that we would go see “Sleeping Beauty” on Saturday night. Once I found out “Petit Mort” wasn’t being performed, I chose the classical ballet. That is Veronica’s favorite style of ballet. I knew my mom would want to go, and I thought this would be a fabulous girl’s weekend…and we might just surprise the girls instead of telling them. Ooh, and maybe we could take the train, which would be a blast!
I send my mom the O.M.G. text. And then it hits me like a galloping steed (isn’t that what the prince always rides up on?) October 5…is homecoming. HOMECOMING. Veronica has a date (a super cute one), and a dress (a gorgeous one), and a hair appointment, and a nail appointment. This can not be happening. Seriously, how is it even humanly possible that the one thing I want more than practically anything in life, is happening, and it’s on the one weekend in 2013 that I am tied up. Please, someone pinch me, awaken me from my slumber with love’s truest kiss…let me realize that Ballet West is going to be in my state on a day when I have nothing to do…please…anyone…Bueller? Hello? Ack!!!!!
I call my mom…and we had the “if life was rose-colored” conversation. Then we had the grown up conversation about making good choices. And then I whined a bit (or a lot). Hey, I’m being honest. Yes, I know that going to Chicago “isn’t the smartest thing to do” on a Sunday (after Miss V has been at homecoming the prior evening), see the stars of Breaking Pointe, then drive back home. I mean, that’s close to 11-12 hours in the car for a 2-3 hour ballet extravaganza. I fully realize I have work on Monday and the girls have school. But, when are we going to get this opportunity again? Yes, again with those glasses on, Veronica will train and join Ballet West…but, all the dancers we love that will be in Chi-town may not still be in Utah when she gets there. So, this really could be the only opportunity we get.
Why is the right decision the one that makes me the most unhappy? And, is it REALLY a wrong decision if it is a terrific opportunity? Seriously, how many of you waste money every week on the lottery? If you saved that cash instead, you’d still have that moolah, which is better than just dreaming of winning…right? So, couldn’t doing the “stupid” thing kind of be like my buying a lottery ticket? Only my lottery ticket (ballet ticket) is a jackpot winner! See…I’m winning, not losing. Or all the moms on Toddler’s and Tiara’s saying they do this for the scholarship money. Yes, the scholarship’s are good, but if you spend thousands and your daughter wins nothing, well, you are in the hole. But, put that money in a CD, it get’s interest and you pay for college the old-fashioned way, you know, without parading your daughter half-naked, dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman while she’s still a hooker, at 6 years old. And my final analogy, let’s take gambling. You gamble a thousand dollars, get down to your last dollar and hit the jackpot which is eight hundred dollars. Yes, you won eight hundred smackeroo’s, but you are still in the hole two hundred dollars. Right? Trust me, I’m right. Just go with it.
But, with going to the ballet, my pumpkin IS a carriage. My rags a glorious outfit (okay, probably just church clothes, but in my mind, Ellen Degeneres treats me to Christian Louboutin’s and Armani), and my handsome prince? Chris, Ronnie, or Rex will do…okay, so my husband won’t let me have a prince…guess I’ll be prince-less. Needless to say, I win. I’m Cinderella. Crown me Mrs. America, and let Donald Trump know I need a wheelbarrow for my winnings.
Yet, I can’t seem to get online and just purchase the darned tickets. Why? Because, I am responsible (almost all the time). I’m not spontaneous. I realize the importance of normalcy the day before returning to work and school and dance. I can’t move beyond making the right decision. So…I guess I’ll hang my head and wave the white flag, surrendering my desire to throw caution to the Windy City. Unless…no, I can’t even begin to think about this. But what if…nuh-uh, it’s too silly to even think about. Yet, could it be possible that after this year of blogging about my unwavering love of Ballet West and Breaking Pointe, that maybe, just maybe, they would want to meet me, too? Not as much as the other way around, but possibly? Perhaps to give me some fabulous quote to put in the blog I would obviously write about my live experience watching them? So…if just one of the cast of the show said, “hey Kristin, you can’t miss our performance. We would be happy to talk with you briefly,” I would be indebted to purchase said ticket, travel to the big city, and revel in my joy of seeing Ballet West in person.
Hey, life is too short to go unnoticed…DREAM BIG!